15 years ago today I gave birth to an 8 lb 2oz bundle of boy joy! 15!!!

We love you Mo, and miss you! Hope you are having fun in the country!

Mom & Crew

Hub was talking to my girlfriend S this morning on the walk to school, and trying to explain to her just how weird my “normal” has become.

Here’s a sample:

Yesterday morning, I had a very hard time getting up.  When I did, every joint in my hands and feet were screaming at me.  Popping Motrin like candy, I got up and shuffled two of the three kids to school.  Teenager Girl stayed home.

I did what work I could that had come in overnight, and caught up on upgrading the blogs I manage.  By 10:30 am, I was wiped out enough to need a nap.  Eek.

So I cuddled up in the cozy chair with my quilt, my dogs and the MacBook ;)  Solved a client crisis from the cozy chair, and then closed my eyes for a bit.

Kindergarten Girl and Grade 2 Boy came home for lunch, and I wasn’t even able to get out of the chair.  They are very independent kids, so they got their own lunch and I was able to stay put.

By 2pm, I was sure that I was NOT going to make it to our barbecue that evening.  I was dizzy and very shaky and just feeling crappy.

By 3pm I had the carpal tunnel splints on so I could work.  Got all my work tied up and answered emails and inquiries.  Still felt like I was NOT  going out.

By 5pm, I dragged myself to the bathroom and put on some makeup and did my hair.  Felt slightly better, and by the time I was done, hub was home and we were getting ready to go.

We had a great time at R & C’s place, but I had to take the cane with me.  Supper was great, and we stayed longer than we thought we would.  By the end of dinner, I was feeling better.

By the time we got home, I was feeling great. So I replaced the toilet in the master bedroom. WTF?

And that’s the way it goes.  It swings wildly from stuck in the chair and in so much pain I can’t move, to superwoman taking care of plumbing all over the place.

And that’s my weird new “normal”.

….and you feel like a frickin’ super hero!

Let me preface this by saying I am NOT handy.  I know some of the basics, but I’m a technology wonk - I can fix a WP blog in 5 minutes, but I’m stumped over how to change a tire.

So the idea of changing a toilet by myself was daunting to say the least.  And when I get hot, I get sick, and I knew I’d be sweating bullets over this one.

But hub had faith so in I leaped.

The toilets in our house were described as “low flow” which translated from RE agent-speak means they suck.  In order to flush, you had to use a bucket to get things moving, shall we say.  We’ve been saying for a while that we need new ones - but we never did anything about it until Saturday.

We bought 2 new dual flush toilets with the deal that I would install and hub would help out if needed.

Installing a toilet is a snap frankly, if you follow the steps.  And I did - and it works! Not a leak in sight.  The kids are thrilled that there are 2 flush options - and to flush you push a button - and we are thrilled at the huge decrease in water usage - amazing!

So now I feel like I’m queen of the world - once I did something that scared the hell out of me, and was successful - I think I can tackle anything!

Next will be ripping up carpeting and installing the laminate flooring I’m dreaming about.

j

….oh wait, this is happening to me

As you may or may not know, in my other life I’m a Virtual Assistant and technology wonk. I’m big into computers and PDAs and my Blackberry and blah blah blah.

So when the Bride of Frankenstein tests came back I was freaked to put it mildly.

Yesterday was results day for the Nerve Conduction Tests that I had done and I am officially into a full-blown pity party.

I have been diagnosed with bilateral carpal tunnel syndrome. Seriously.

I was tested about 10 years ago, and had a negative test then. My sister in law is a physiotherapist, and she helped me pick out a splint to help with the problems I was having at night - I would have a pins and needles in my hands, and the pain would wake me up. Sucky sleep makes me hurt all over.

But now it’s official. Problem is, it’s not INSTEAD of, it’s IN ADDITION to. Sux all round.

Fortunately I’m not driving now, or else I’d be in the middle of the junk food aisle at Sobey’s - ass high in potato chips and pop.

j

Lots happening here in balance diva land so relax and let’s catch up.

First - we’ve had some upset in our family.  One of my husband’s dear Uncles passed away unexpectedly - he was only 54 years old.  We were all devastated to say the least, especially since we were not able to travel to Ontario for the funeral.

Second - hub’s dear grandfather is in the hospital, but is hopefully coming home today.  He’s 94 years young, and appears to have had a mild heart attack.  For 94 he is quite spry and living in an assisted care facility where he enjoys bowling (3 strikes in one game!) and socializing.  He has good days and bad, but seems to be slowing down recently.  He’s always happy to see his great grandkids and they love visiting and being able to wheel him around

Third - I thought I was in “remission” where I wasn’t having many symptoms.  I was feeling really great and was becoming much more active.  But the body had other ideas and shut me down relatively quickly.  I have, however, been able to tackle one major activity per day and I’m getting used to being slow.  I’ve bought a MacBook Pro laptop so I can work easily from my cozy chair, since the iMac on a table was just not stable enough for 3 little dogs and 3 kids :

Still waiting for the results of the Bride of Frankenstein tests - hopefully will hear something soon

j

Thanks to one of the fab new VA teams I’m part of (VirtualHelper4U) I’ve found a blog that seems to be the answer to one of my prayers.

For 13 years now I’ve been navigating life and work with a chronic illness, but I have no diagnosis. That’s a whole other kettle of fish.

But I found the blog Keep Working Girlfriend and was transported to a land of people WHO GET IT! These gals understand what it’s like to plan your life around an uninvited guest who just won’t leave you alone.

I dove right into the blog posts and immediately signed up for the ezine. Thanks for doing what you do ladies

j

I feel like I have been hit by a truck - repeatedly. Ick.

I have my nerve conduction tests done today and they were not nearly as fun as I remember. And the technician was not too happy with my Dr’s note (he couldn’t read it but I didn’t have much trouble) and the fact that I couldn’t tell him much about why I was there.

Doc ordered the tests (I’m assuming here and we all know how that turns out) to rule out carpal tunnel syndrome as a reason for my hands falling asleep and such. But on the note from Doc, he also asked for conduction tests on my right foot. Very odd, since I’m not having trouble with my foot. When he banged on my right knee with the hammer, he didn’t get much reaction out of the foot, so maybe that was the reason for adding that to the req.

Anywho, off I trundled to St. B. I had 2 small metal discs attached at 2 points on my thumb, and then had 2 little things that looked like tiny nooses (I’m twisted, remember that) on my finger in two spots. And then the tech ran the current and made me twitch. Very odd to feel that sensation and watch my hand dance without my moving it. It was unpleasant but not painful. The pain was reserved for my leg.

He hooked up the electrodes on my foot, and shocked me. I damn near screamed. He had me flex and relax my toes a few times, and he adjusted the electrodes and then shocked me again. Damn!

And that was all. 20 minutes of checking in and getting to the clinic for a test that took about 8 minutes max.

Report should be back in a week. Whoopie!

I started writing this bloody thing 4 days ago - that’s the kinda week I’m having folks! *lol

So last Wednesday was Doc day - and the drive to get there took longer than the appt. Hub didn’t even have a chance to read his article in “Diver” magazine. Three minutes max!

This was the bloodwork results appt and I wasn’t really expecting what I heard. Eek!

Everything was normal, except for two glaring exceptions - my rheumatoid factor {RF} was positive and my c-reactive protein {C-RP} was positive as well.

So that means that on top of “whatever this is”, I have the potential to develop another lovely issue. While a positive RF does NOT necessarily mean rheumatoid arthritis, it does signal the presence of an inflammatory process. The c-reactive protein is, as I understand it, a non-specific test the does not diagnose, but tells the physician that there is an inflammatory process going on in the body. I’ve had a positive c-reactive protein before, many years ago, but nothing was done about it.

“Positive RF test results may also be seen in healthy patients and in patients with conditions such as: endocarditis; systemic lupus erythematosus (lupus); tuberculosis; syphilis; sarcoidosis; cancer; viral infection; or disease of the liver, lung, or kidney. The RF test is not used to diagnose or monitor these conditions.”  ~ from LabTestsOnline.org

Whoopie! *lol I’m laughing myself to bits over the syphilis!

But tomorrow is the dreaded “bride of frankenstein” day - I have my EMG studies.  They hook you up to a bunch of electrodes and zap you to see how long it takes the impulses to travel to the brain! Ummm, fun??

I’ll let you know if I start glowing green

j

Sp

It’s been a rather eventful couple of weeks here.

Last week was “small pets vs the grim reaper week”, followed by “freak out in a restaurant day” and “Easter issues”. Loads of fun that I just know you are all kicking yourself for missing

So the pets have been laid to rest with all 3 dogs surviving nicely (knock wood). The restaurant thing came during Grampa’s 94 birthday party at a fabulous Chinese restaurant here in Peg City. Since we arrived right on time, we had to take the center table, which puts me in a vulnerable position from all sides. I much prefer having my back toward a wall so I don’t have to deal with sneak attacks.

And since this was my first major family event since the cane came into my life, I had to explain to everyone why I had it. Very very hard to do. And there were several people there whom I did not know, which meant that well-meaning relatives wanted to introduce me to everyone at the exact time I was wishing the ground would open up and swallow me whole! Not a good idea. So I panicked. Fortunately hub and cousin Sam were there to rescue me and we moved from the middle of the centre table to the end and tried to relax. I had to avoid eye contact with everyone so I pretended I was engrossed in my placemat which listed birth years and corresponding animal (monkey, snake, rat, etc).

It’s a well-known thing in the MS community that stress (good or bad) can precipitate an attack. And boy can I relate! The stress of this event made my tremors go into overdrive so much so that I wasn’t sure I could hold the friggin’ fork! I was shaking so much I had to have a straw in my drink and not touch the bloody cup. Hub had to carry my plate thru the buffet line and I felt about 2 inches tall. Blech!

Going to the bathroom required a cane and the support of a 7 year old who is just tall enough to help hold me up. It was thoroughly embarrasing as I am not at the acceptance point yet in this journey. Hub has made it there but I am lagging behind.

I’m sure I offended more than one person when I didn’t want to be introduced around or have my picture taken. And since they don’t know what I’m facing here, they don’t understand what I’m feeling. Not sure they ever will.

Easter post and a list of what tremors are good for (thanks Lan and Sam!!!!) coming up next - my tremors are back and typing is damned hard

I think I may just try doing the podcasting post thing

be well

jill

Today is one of those days ladies and gentleman - the kind your mom told you would come along and you should just stay in bed or risk bodily harm. I’m about as bright as a bag of hammers today, so forgive me if the occasional typo pops up. It’s not easy to type when your hands are tremoring away to their own tune

This is a brain pressure day - a day when the slightest movement of my head triggers a dizzy spell and makes me nauseous. But there is no pain like you’d have with a migraine, just a tremendous feeling of pressure like my skull is about to pop off - I know - visual - ewwwwwwwwww!

And somewhere in my house sits a grim reaper for pets - on Monday my 13 year old daughter’s hamster died (she got 2 for her birthday less than a month ago), and yesterday my 6 year old daughter’s fish dies (she got the bowl and gift cert for fish at Christmas). Then during the night, hamster #2 died. Ick. Now the kids are all worried about the dogs for fear one of them is next. Didn’t help that Westie #2 was puking all day yesterday!

So we are cocooning - teenager is home from school for the day and we are both hacking away at the keyboards. So again we breathe. In and out and just make getting through the day our goal.

Hugz!

jill